It’s OK to Ask for Help…
Here are some important things you probably need to know about me.
Until I bought Lucy, I had never traveled in or spent any time in a Camper Van or RV.
I am a perfectionist and fiercely independent.
I frequently worry that other people are watching me make mistakes and judging me.
Ok that’s enough of my soul to expose for one day, but this information will help you understand my melt-down a little better.
Before I bought Lucy I knew that I had no experience with Camper Vans or RVs. So, I did what every Gen Xer does and I researched. I read, googled, watched YouTube videos, and talked to people who had RVs. I knew that I had a lot to learn and practice, I just didn’t expect the learning curve to be quite as steep as it was in reality. I also made some very crucial mistakes despite all my planning that lead to my melt-down.
1. Picking Lucy up and expecting to hit the ground exploring was unrealistic. I needed time to get to know her in a safe space where I had back-up.
2. Not asking the people next to me at the campground for help because I was embarrassed was a really poor decision. The RV and Van community is full of kind and helpful people that are usually happy to help. I should have just asked.
3. Expecting myself to remember and put into practice without mistakes everything I learned during my short time at Drifter was not realistic. No one does anything perfectly the first time. We all make mistakes and we learn the most from our mistakes. But the fiercely independent perfectionist in me did not want to hear that.
4. Not bringing someone with me for my maiden voyage was not smart. Everything is always easier when you have help. I could have invited one of my sons or a friend to come along for support. I didn’t do that, and I paid the price.
Lucy in as much chaos as my mind.
As I said in my last post, my best friend let me have my epic meltdown and then forced me to make a plan to escape meltdown mode. This plan was full of all of the things I am not good at which made me very resistant to putting the plan into action. That is where best friend status comes in and phrases like, “ If you quit I’m gonna be sooo pissed at you” and “ Do Not Come Back Here. This place is hot, full of hurricanes and tourists. Figure it out and live your dream” and “This is your dream. Do Not Give Up” were said to me. It was the reality check I needed to get it together and make a plan.
Here was is plan,
1. Ask for help! I called a friend who lives in North Carolina and made plans to come stay in the area. She hooked me up with a mutual friend who was able to let me stay on her land for a few days to get myself organized and practice using the van systems.
2. Look for and accept support from family and friends: One of my sons lives very close to where I would be staying, so I asked him to come spend some time helping me learn the van systems.
3. Learn new things in a familiar place: Everything about van life was new to me, so the ability to learn and organize in a place that was familiar instead of a new place was one less new thing in my life.
4. Get Organized: Clean and organized spaces give me peace. In all my years as a single mom I experienced a lot of stress. But, I learned that I am much better able to handle the stress of life when the space around me is clean and organized. I think it gives me a small sense of control when things feel out of control. So, getting Lucy organized would allow me to feel more at peace.
With the plan in place, I started my drive to North Carolina the next day. My fingers were crossed that my trip would go well and van life would start to feel more comfortable very soon.
